On the Fear of Large Families

When you talk with adults on the topic of children and ask them why didn’t they decide to have more than one child they say: “We fear that we will not be able to give them that much in life. Life is very expensive now. If there is only one child – we can give them all of the attention, all the love, and care.”

But the essence of such an answer is that they won’t be able to afford to buy their children’s love.

If there are many children, there should be a lot of room for all of them, and there may be no opportunity to purchase a new apartment. A two-room apartment is enough for only one child. In addition, it is much harder to go on a vacation when you have a lot of children. The list goes on. These arguments may vary and be a bit different, but once again, the financial state of a family is perceived as the biggest problem in this.

Yet here’s a question: “Did the desire to buy something for your loved ones became more important than the desire to give them something that does not depend on money, but on ourselves?”

There are many examples of this. A significant number of people are not ready to give their children enough attention. A son wants to tell his dad about a very hard piece of homework that was given to him in school. His father says that, not now, son, I am busy. He then leaves to have some drinks with his buddies. The same goes for daughters and mothers. A daughter wants to talk to her mother about something important, but her mother is too busy watching some dumb TV show.

For some reason, parents do not worry about the lack of love and attention in their families. They were too lazy, did not take the time to teach their children the most basic of things that are important in life, did not give their children a feeling of joy from working together, there were no bedtime stories, and no one told them about compassion and mercy. Yet these are the things that children need.

Our loved ones want some attention from us, and we often take the easy way out. “Dad, let's go to the park, I want to build a snowman!” A son tries to persuade his father to go to a park, but his father is too lazy. “Let me buy you a popsicle, how about two?” A daughter asks her mother: “Mom, can we bake a cake for my birthday? I want to learn how to make one myself." But her mom goes to the store and buys a cake on the pretext that it is more beautiful than the one that they would make on their own.

Will a child remember an ice cream and a cake from a store after a while? It is unlikely, but a snowman, that was made alongside their father, or that time when they’ve baked a cake with their mother’s guidance can be remembered throughout life.

Adults are often afraid of how expensive children’s celebrations are. They buy all sorts of different cakes, confetti, hire clowns and make expensive gifts when all of these things are unnecessary.

People are afraid that with the birth of a next child their material well-being will only get worse, although who knows what future has in store? God always helps those that are kind to other people, if you decide to bring a lot of children into this world – it will pay off to you. There will be nothing but happiness and love in your family.

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About Micaela

Micaela is a child of God, a pastor’s daughter and homeschool graduate who loves photography, the Maine coast, and anything historical. She is the founder of the ministry Hearts for Purity, and an author-to-be. You can find her blogging at Everyday Encouragements.

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